Angel, why are you running away from me?
Angel, how could you show yourself and leave
So why? Did I leave you waiting
And why can I feel you fading still (raise my glass)

So here’s to you
Can I play the victim this time
Here’s to this
And whatever’s left to come
And here’s to doors
Here’s to finding one worth closing
Here’s to breathing, here’s to choking
Here’s to you

Angel, I’ll hang my sorry by the window
Please tell everyone here what I have done
Because I still cry when I hurt you
And I will try anything to prove you wrong (raise my glass)

Well, the Devil, he wore his black and gray
With a glint in his eye he fixed his gaze
He said, “I’m not here in town for long—
The night is young the wine is strong…”

Look to prove you’re tough as anyone in anything
Weary of your broken heart
Convince yourself to have a little fun, a little fling
The valley’s deeper in the dark

So you run to the Devil, the sweet with the bitter
When the smoke clears, watch your step, reconsider—
Take a pill, take a leap, take anything to help you close your eyes

Well, the Devil, he grabbed your hand and ran
Smooth as silver, soft as sand
In a whirl of street and glass and light,
Everything swallowed up in the night

The Devil laughs and says, “you’re good enough, I’m through for now,”
It takes a day to clear the haze
And all you’re left with is the chill of him, to wonder how
To scrape him off; he only stays

So you’re tied to the Devil, you lose what was taken
Brush the night from your eyes, you must be mistaken
Take a breath, find your pride, but nothing here will ever be the same…

So I ran from the city to hide away
I went down to the river to wash and pray
Well the Devil, he whispers low and deep:
“You closed your eyes, it’s your blame to keep.”

And he sits in the bar
In the back of the room
With his head in his hands
And his hands on the table
He wearing the weight of a man on the move
Running somewhere without any end

As he raises his glass
To the friends he remembers
The table is empty and
Nobody hears when
He toasts to the love
Of a life that was lost
And his hands start to tremble
And the lights start to fade

One more, one more
One more body hits the road

He says,
“No more running,
No more escape
It’s been so many years since I’ve seen her face
Maybe now I’ll start over. Today—”

When he looks at his fist
Raised triumph, in failure
His face twisted up in disgust at his state
And he says
“This is all just some misunderstanding”
He stumbles out into the night
Head raised, arms raised
In surrender to the Loss

Have you ever seen somebody
Losing themselves
To the scent of the night
And the grace of the pavement
We watch for a while
And we say, “what a shame”
As the days and the years disappear
One more, no more
Brace your body for the road

Driving down the road on Tuesday morning
Marking how the highway looks familiar
Wondering how to handle when I get there
Every shape reminding me of you

Didn’t take a lot to know that I would miss you
Took your absence just to know how hard it’d be
Took your silence to remind me that I’m crazy
Took a bottle close and gave you back your key

So why’d you stay?
And why’d you say the things you did
When you could see that I was falling

Was it madness to believe that you could love me
Just a foolish girl who craves a final bow?
Do you tell yourself you saved me from your story?
Look me in the eye, then turn away somehow

And are you happy that the outcome is the same?
Do you know how many times I’ve mulled this over?
And do you promise to stay far enough away
Till I can see your face
Without it being close to mine

A quiet morning and the sun is on the sidewalk
I see the seasons changing and I mark the difference
I find myself daydreaming now about the highway
Wish you’d come around but hate and need the distance

Snow is falling
Winter’s blown the sun away
Only time now
Waiting for the wind to change
And carry me away to another December
Warmer than this one, like I remember

One room, two worlds
Separate lives we come and go
Are you listening
Or are you just watching the snow
And wishing for a life like the one out the window
Everything new, well, which way do we go?

How long
I can’t go on like this
How long
I’m so tired

What’s it take dear
To play the game of give and take
Let me stay here
Tell the truth for both our sakes
Your smile is a lie, my mistake a salvation
Watch you pull away as I wait at the station

Waiting, watching
Knowing there will come a day
Past redemption
God, there must be another way
To find a story with a different ending
Without the sudden break of what was already bending

You and me got problems
I guess that they were right
How’d we get here, anyway
waiting for a fight
You and me got problems
That much we can own
But the same mistakes everyone makes
Have magnified and grown

I keep a lot of secrets
You dance around the truth
You told me I resent you
For squandering my youth
You speak in absolutions
But say it and it may be
Careful what you wish for
You might be convincing me

So go on, go on
I’m not such a riddle
Go on, go on
Gotta meet me in the middle

Go on, go on
We made this bed to lie in
Go on, go on
And I’m not sick of trying

You and me got problems
But we’re better off than most
though we’re prone to dredge and fixate on
The other person’s ghosts
Your stories don’t line up much
I tell mine with too much weight
Want you to say you understand but you’re often just too late

I’ll never change the laundry
I never wash the sheets
though I have the best intentions
Don’t expect that much from me
I spend all my time dreaming
For us and for our kids
Want you both to love me
For what I can say I did

Gotta dig that hole, gotta bury that dream
Gotta round that corner to some better things
Gotta dig that hole, gotta open that door
Gotta see much clearer than we did before
Gotta dig that hole, gotta let our selves down
Cuz there’s no clear winner, there’s no trophy or crown
Gotta dig that hole, made this mess together
And there’s no running this time, for worse or for better

When I was young, I fell in love
With the trade winds blowing softly through your hair
Our joy, our tears, my childish dreams
So intoxicated by the perfumed air
In that morning, lover, so soft and fair
Take me back to the first moment that we met
In the gentle rise of the mountains there
I will cherish you and I will not forget

You drew me close, you gave me names
As only the heart can do, we swung and swayed
But your love was made for only you
You don’t need me, though I long for you each day
In the glare of daylight,
So pure and bright
I remember every contour of your face
But the sun goes down and the evening comes
Have I lost you, can I come back to this place?

I grew up in the shade of you
Still believing that you’d love me till the end
But hearts move on and winds, they change
I returned to lose my lover and my friend
So goodnight, my someone, my only home
Close your eyes now in your fervent golden glow
Sleep you sweetly now as I yearn for you
In my heart for always, I can’t let you go

You have made sure I won’t love again
So be cruel as you wash me from your shores

Here we are, waiting again
And it’s only three days later
How I hate to be familiar with this place
For an hour, I’m alone
Listening to a nearby family
As they gather, I have never felt so lonely

I have brought a book, my mind won’t seem to focus
So I read my messages over again
As my coffee cools, I think about our daughters
Could I tell them all you were, how good a man
How good a man
How good a man

When the doctor finally comes
I am sitting with my parents
He is clearly much less confident this time
He describes how much you bled
How the healing will take longer
And the only thing to do now is to wait

As I walk to see you in the ICU
You’re unconscious and machines are breathing for you
Here your body lay, but where, oh where are you?
Will you come back to me when this part is over
Because I love you
How I love you

We know
We’re looking for answers in the
Red glow
Of darker corners
With the lights on
We just want to find you back home

There’s a view from your new room
And you sit beside your window
From the outside I can see it from the street
As we normalize this life
And the days seem so much longer
I can only wonder how this all will end

Beloved one, don’t come undone
Because I love you
Please come home soon

I am a delicate man, I’ve always done what I can
To be the best I could be to sustain my family
How did it all slip away? How did I lose all my say?
Is this an ending

It was my plan to grow old and what I earned I would hold
I built this house and a life with my two hands and my wife
Could I be left here to stand and bury my head in the sand
I’m not so foolish

Who gets to choose
Who has to lose
We’ve paid our dues…

I am a sensitive man, I can’t be more than I am
There was some joy at the start, but now that’s a dwindling art
We say they’re out to exploit, they say we’re missing the point
We are the working

I am a gold-hearted man though nobody here gives a damn
Just want a few simple things that only money can bring
It’s become a hostile race, they pushed me out of my place
Can’t you see what’s coming

Where will we go
When we’re made low
I just don’t know…

So did you take it from me?
Am I not the one that you see?
No, I am the shadow
And can you go on this way—
Ignore the doubt and the pain?
How, I don’t know
So now I stand in my shame
Looking for someone to blame
Who, I don’t know
Do you need me up on a stage
To see me naked, enraged
Why I don’t know

I am a delicate man

When the call came,
Annie Hall was on TV
Thought I’d watch it
As you’d advised, inebriatedly

It was a favorite
And I wanted to understand
But then the call came
I don’t recall the way it ends

Brother, don’t fail now
Come back to sit with me
So many years now
From when you told me:

“The last thing that I remember thinking
Is when I woke, I wouldn’t feel a thing…”

When the storm came
When we seethed with heart and rage
And the ship rolled
And we snarled within our cage
And then the wind came
When it blew you far from shore
How could you leave me?
With the same frail shell you wore?

The water’s deep here
Don’t go without me
What little faith here
Just like you told me—

The last thing that I remember thinking
Is when I woke, I wouldn’t feel a thing
Remember that I was just a child
Trying to understand the world in your eyes

And the voices I heard that night
Were bigger than anything I could recall
And the reasons I held to so tight
Slowly sifted away

When the call came
I knew how fragile we were still
Put down the armor
Too tired to fight, but I will

I should’ve told you from the start
That I would go and break your heart
I’ve been around a time or two
I am what people have been through
I wake up thinking every day
All of the things I shouldn’t say
Like I don’t wanna leave you,
I don’t wanna let you go

You’re always touting all this hurt
You think I don’t have any dirt?
These twenty years I’ve had to waste
You are the best thing I have faced
Still, I could ruin all your life
If I asked you to be my wife
But I don’t wanna lose you
I don’t wanna let you go

When you go, when it’s done
You won’t even know me
Just another ghost to hit your pillow at night
When you go, I’ll become
Just a funny story
Cautionary tale of loving wrong and right
If you stay, well okay—
How we gonna make it?
There’s enough to break it without all this noise…

Goddamn, will you make up your mind?
We can’t keep wasting all this time
So sick of hearing every turn
To build this bridge or let it burn
The push and pull of me and you
Just shut your mouth and say “I do”
‘cause I will never leave you
I will never let you go

Patience is a virtue
Purity a decision
I have tried to be faithful
To the name I’ve been given
Everyday is an answer
Still I can’t find the question
So I wait and I wander
For a home I can rest in

And the sun also rises
Brings one day, then another
How it beats and surmises
At the weight of each other
I refuse to be silent
Though words cautiously spent
They are tragic and violent
They are ripe with intent

And the last thing I’d want is to wait for you
But the one thing I have is to wait for you

Temperance is a virtue
And joy a decision
While we wait, we grow restless
For a life fit to live in
I have tried to be honest
To respect and persist
While we wait we grow weary
Of the chances we’ve missed

Go where you want to go
And be where you want to be
Say what you mean to say
And see what you want to see
Go where you want to be
Be where you want to stay
And say what you mean to see
And see what you mean to say

If you’re looking for me

Go looking in a garden

Go looking outside when the seasons turn

If you’re waiting for me

I’ll be out there with the sunshine

I’ll be working in the garden when the seasons turn

The only reason I came out here

Is I was choked up on depression

But watching dead earth come alive

Set my mind at ease

And so with my hands in the dirt

And the sun on my back

I went out there to learn patience,

And to wait in peace

In the dead of winter

What is the song that a seed hears

What is this life so insistent

It should find its way?

Blessed be the springtime

And impossible rebirth

And the earth to which

I’ll return someday

I’ve been looking for God in the ashes

I’ve been looking for God in the pain

I’ve been looking in change of the seasons

I’ve been looking in the rain

I’ve been looking for God in my breathing

In what’s to give without what’s to gain

I’ll be finding my god in the garden

I’ll find my God in the rain

One Sided Sea

Well you asked me to come here

You know I hate the cold

The gray waves pounding

At the bitter coast

Why don’t you say something, say something to me

As I wait in silence

The cold catches my breath

And your brave performance

Hasn’t happened yet

Why don’t you say something, say something to me

Why don’t you say something, say it to me

And I would run away if I wouldn’t crash back on the shore

And I would be to blame,

I’d take the fall if it would lead to something more

When all of these worn out words keep on coming back to me

You’re standing still

One sided sea

Am I a washed up siren

That you’re afraid to pass

For the fear of losing

What you never had?

Why don’t you say something say something to me

If you’re gonna say something, say it to me

And I would run away if I wouldn’t crash back on the shore

And I would be to blame, I’d take the fall if it would lead to something more

When all of these worn out words keep on coming back to me

You’re standing still

One sided sea

I know you

Can hear me

Do you feel brave?

So stoic

So noble

What face you’ve saved

I know you

Can hear me

Do you feel brave?

What glorious

Performance

What face you’ve saved

You’ve been walking home a long time

Stumbling down this road a long time

Baby I know, baby I know

You had dreams of all you would give

All the many lives you could live—

Baby let go, let it all go

Could it be you’re not meant for where you are

Could it be it’s enough...

Keep a little something in your pocket,

Keep a little silence in your heart

Find a little still when you feel restless

If it’s outside, can’t tear you apart…

I can hear your doubt from out here

Always something else, as new fear

You’re not alone, baby I know

You’ve been fighting so hard for your voice

Only trouble and pain, but rejoice

In the unknown, baby let go

Could it be you’re not meant to disappear

Steady now, you’re here

Everything will be alright

We are the wild ones, we howl at the moon

We dance in the desert. we are the monsoon

The strength of our softness, the grace of our limbs

The beauty and passion beyond all your whims

So you call us the witches ‘cause you don’t understand

You can’t seize our power, we’re beyond your command

So call us the witches but beware and dismayed

The wild is stronger because you are afraid—

If Eve ruined Adam, if she brought the fall

how challenged his conscience, how weak his resolve

So if Eve in her bounty bears the weight of this mark

The shame is all Adams for refusing the work

We toil in labor with a curse to perceive

To see Truth and what’s coming but never be believed

But we are the healers breathing life, death, rebirth

It’s deep in our bodies, we move with the Earth

Are we too aggressive? Both too frail and too strong?

Still we are persisting, for this journey is long

Sasha saved me on that lonely day in Paris

And now the Cathedral’s burning down

I am reeling these years later,

I’m still fragile, I’m still grateful

I’m still waiting for my feet to hit the ground

As we walked around the city in the autumn

I could feel my blood relax inside my veins

She was there and she was for me

Gave me voice and held me steady

The Cathedral in the distance did the same

Come you broken, weary traveler

Bound in chains and out of breath

Step inside out of the rain

And I will hold you in your pain

Find your refuge, find your rest

Sasha smiled like she’d known me for forever

For a few days I was anchored in her glow

As I walked by the Cathedral,

I could quiet all my demons

Be a small and simple someone there to hold

I met my husband in a wine show that I worked in

Out of desperation and naiveté

The Cathedral brought us closer

Gave him peace and gave me closure

To accept what I was meant to be

Come you broken, weary traveler

Bound in chains and out of breath

Step inside out of the rain

And I will hold you in your pain

Find your refuge, find your rest

Am I just awakening

How’d it get so far inside of me

The foundation’s shaking

Is there resurrection?

Feels like I’ve been stuck in Saturday

Waiting for direction

My skin is finally my own

Each breath a letting go

My body reminds me to trust what I know

But I miss God and the surety

Of knowing I was right

Where is God when uncertainty turns out the light?

Out the light...

Blessed be these outcastes

Prone to wander in the mystery

Headed down some new path

If an institution

Tried to standardize the Least of These

Then why would you choose them?

My skin is finally enough

Each breath is a light

My body has power to bring things to life

But I miss God and the surety

Of knowing I was right

Where is God when uncertainty turns out the light?

Knowing I am never gonna save your soul

Strange and sweet relief

But where is God and the surety

Of knowing I was right

I miss God when uncertainty turns out the light?

But I miss God and the surety

Of knowing I was right

Where is God when uncertainty turns out the light?

Where is God when they don’t even put up a fight?

I miss God when uncertainty turns out the light?

There once was a powerful nation

Imagined by some escaped refugees

Built on backs of stolen people

And their children for centuries

And now this City on a Hill

Can’t outrun its may ills

By forgetting its own history

So a man took his place at the pulpit

Spitting fire, fear, and fallacy and foe

Found a congregation fertile

With violent fragile souls

He declared himself a king

Now says a lot of stupid things

With masses cheering at his vertigo

With audacity that only comes with lying

Drinking his own name like cheap, diluted wine

Claim god and country and for the people

With the fiction of the Good old Days enshrined

With amphibious lips he frowns:

“Drain the swamp, burn it down--”

Well sir, that’s a concept I can get behind

But if we burn it down, down, down

can we build it back up from the bottom

Not for fear or fighting

But for love

So what now, what happens after insurrection?

The foundation and the scaffolding exposed

No patriots hiding in the shadows,

Just an emperor without his clothes

That which clarifies can sting

Without Truth, no unity

Can make poetry from our broken prose

But if we burn it down, down, down

can we build it back up from the bottom

Not for fear or fighting

But for love

Sunday, Easter Sunday, put your best on

Wear a pretty flower in your hair

Praise today, the day of resurrection

Glory, hallelujah everywhere

Could they feel it coming

They were singing Victory

When the bombs went off

With those lives all splintering

Who will save us all

“When I saw the bodies, my heart shattered”

That was what the old man said to me

Now so many families with their lost ones

Praying, begging to St. Anthony

Maybe they were taken

Just a breath before

Now there stands the shadow of a building

Once a sanctuary, now a tomb

If hate can take the innocent in worship,

Then love can promise retribution soon

They were singing...

Gold, blue

Red through the window I’ve seen you

Light up the stones in these old rooms

I was in love from the start

Baptize

Cleanse me, take mud from my blind eyes

Lay me wide open, let self die

Make me a new work of art

But when the certain light dawns

And certainty fades

How can I help but feel capsized

Knowing my whole world’s built on lies

Trying to breathe underwater

When will I rise?

Down, down

This is a masochists playground

More than a rabbit hole, break down

What is the damage I’ve done

Quick prey

Hubris to think there is One Way

Promise for life and then betrayed

Candle mistook for the sun

And as we gathered to tell ourselves

We got it right—

What kind of history did we write?

Who did we claim our God would smite?

Trying to breathe underwater

When will I rise?

It’s a mixture of worry

Of doubt and repentance

Of loss and of finding

A self in the dust

It’s the sorrow of absence

The longing for goodness

The hurt and the triumph

The love and mistrust

It’s the same shout of anger

That lives in my belly

That cries out for justice

For peace, and for wrath

It’s the curse of this language,

The bane of this culture

A people of cowards obsessed with its past

The seizing of power and fearing its absence

The joy of admission, the pain of release

It’s the standing here naked

The hot blooded silence

The boiling over, at last the relief

You, there

Challenge me, push me if you dare

See, I am breathing in new air

I don’t know what is in store

Woman,

Whole, undeniable, human

Beautiful, strong, where have you been?

I’m not afraid anymore

I get sad

My mind becomes a crowded place to land

So I circle high above the fray

Convinced I’ll lose another day to fear

So wound up I can’t breathe or just be still

Hold it in

I can fake it, make it, take it on the chin

When my babies need a better mom,

I sometimes turn the TV on and hide

Self-worth all wrapped and tangled up in lies

Be that as it may

I won’t give up

Black and white

Every color in between deserves the right

And to know the privilege of my skin

Has fought to keep the devil in control

Can’t unsee truth from those who live and know

There’s no other way

I won’t give up

If I have to teach my children here from home

If the world is still on fire by the time the winter comes

And if “normal” as we know it’s gone for good

And I’m scared of how to make it through a day of motherhood

If the books I read are half the story told

If my language won’t accept the beauty of a complex whole

If I have to learn my history again

If I have to alienate the people that I once called friends

I won’t give up

I won’t give up…

You were the last thing I wanted

Now you’re the only thing on my mind

Don’t have our picture together

But I took some of things you left behind

If you had only stayed here--

Goodbye baby, I loved you

Goodbye baby, I wanted you to stay

Hope holds on for a long time

Maybe I am ready

Ready to let go

Maybe this is the other side

Goodbye baby

I know my timing could be better

The truth is there’s no “someday” for us

Though I can almost feel you

The heartbreak is just mine to carry

Just think how beautiful you’d be

Goodbye baby, I loved you

Goodbye baby, I wanted you to stay

Hope holds on for a long time

Goodbye baby

I’ve been

Running

Dreaming you would turn around

Chasing,

Aching,

Looking for a way back down

Your face just outside my view

I’ve been running after you

If I could only see you

Let me learn how to love you

If I was different, would you stay

Goodbye baby, I loved you

Goodbye baby, I wanted you to stay

Hope holds on for a long time

Maybe I am ready

Ready to let go

Maybe this is the other side

Goodbye baby

Walking out across the sand

To what the water left behind

The ravaged shore, the fading light

You and me and sand and time

I see you there across the way

Could I have missed this side of you?

A stranger I already love

A lover I’m afraid to choose

Low tide, low tide, low tide

I know it looks like giving up

The soul, the source, the heart of me

It’s not that I’m afraid to fail--

To see the edge is clarity

Low tide, low tide, low tide

And I’m out of ideas

How much more can I give

There are only so many missteps

I can stand to relive

Will someone take my hand

There’s so much I don’t know

Is there someone to walk with

Convince me it’s worth it to grow

Low tide, low tide, low tide

*

But I know the water comes back

the tide rises, the tide falls

And I know the water comes back

there’s a season for it all

I am the undertaker’s daughter

Would you kindly let me in

I’m so sorry for your loss, sir

I’ve just come to hold your hand

I have learned much from my father

Watched him ready earth and stone

For a body to be offered

To their final resting place and home

We don’t have to speculate on where they’re going

Just want you to know you’re not alone

Bring out your dead

Oh, bring them out to me

I’ll carry them away

And care for them tenderly

I will take them to a field outside of town

And a forest there will grow

There’ll be spirits in the trees

And a river there will flow

I am the undertaker’s daughter

And what I’ve gathered from my path

Is that life is for the living

To make friends at last with Death

I will set for us a table

There is room there for your grief

And together we can sit there

And in the stillness find some peace

Let the water come and let your heart be heavy

I am here and I am not afraid

Bring out your dead

Oh, bring them out to me

I’ll carry them away

And care for them tenderly

I will take them to a field outside of town

And a forest there will grow

There’ll be spirits in the trees

And a river there will flow

There is time, there’s always time, and I won’t leave you

You don’t have to be strong on your own

Bring out your dead

Oh bring out your dead

Oh, bring them out to me

Waiting there at the wedding

Feeling sick and I’m bleeding

Bad time to be remembering

How I’d been in love with the groom

There, at last, doors are open

There she is, she is golden

Like the sun, center, glowing–
I am in love with her, too

But what am I gonna do

With this empty womb

And the room is spinning around spinning around

Too much champagne

I’m gonna dance

Disappear in the light and the sound

I’m gonna dance

Body and blood and the spirit abound

So many friends I once knew

Shadows of long ago youth

Fearful they can see right through

Into the hole in my heart

Crowded room but I’m lonely

Hold my hand, but it’s only

Me, alone with the longing

Oh take me back to the start

But what am I gonna do

With this empty womb

And the room is spinning around spinning around

Too much champagne

I’m gonna dance

Disappear in the light and the sound

I’m gonna dance

Body and blood and the spirit abound

Dance

Watching life take a new turn

Every test is a slow burn

Every month like a rerun

Thought I would have different news

So what am I gonna do

With this empty womb…

Too much champagne

I’m gonna dance

Disappear in the light and the sound

Feel my body

Feel myself back in my body

I’m gonna dance

Body and blood and the spirit abound

Feel my body

Feel myself back in my body

I’m gonna dance

Disappear in the light and the sound

Feel my body

Feel myself back in my body

I’m gonna dance

Body and blood and the spirit abound

Feel my body

Feel myself back in my body

I did what I was supposed to do

I knew the rules and I played along

Beloved in my mother’s eye

Bringer of life like a morning song

But the ground opened up and I fell

With no promise of saving

For the price of a simple desire

Is the burden of waiting

I wanted, I wanted

How can i explain

The depth of my longing

To scream out my pain

Oh but language, it fails me,

I don’t know how to say

All I am is hungry, hungry

I learned to settle just for crumbs

I held my tongue and I played along

The rage always beneath my skin

Keeping it in just to prove them wrong

But the ground opened up and I fell

Into a fire unending

Had to choose, do I succumb to the flames

Or let the fire create me

I wanted, I wanted

How can I explain

The depth of my outrage

My fury and shame

Oh but language, it fails me,

And I can’t even name–

All I am is hungry, hungry

I feel her seething, clawing her way out

Voracious and desperate to be unbound

You can claims she isn’t there

And you can say it isn’t right

But you’ll never sate her appetite

All I am is hungry, hungry

All I am is hungry

It was the summer of our discontent

Lost in the longings of our own tormented minds

Trying to save each other, pay the rent

Oh all the things we never said

We hid our failures under painted nails

With homemade cookies and bad tv–modern fairytale

Wanting at once to hold and to be held

A place to keep each other warm

I’ll plant you a garden

I’ll show you the sun

You’ll always remind me

I’m not the only one

Our goodness measured by the other’s eyes

We loved each other more than we could love ourselves

Two clumsy children with a holy prize

So terrified to let it go

I’ll plant you a garden

I’ll show you the sun

You’ll always remind me

I’m not the only one

We learned long ago there’s no guarantee

We’ve said goodbyes, we’ve loved and lied, we’ve gone to the sea

We’ve drifted, turned around, refused to leave

The greatest story ever told

I’ll plant you a garden

I’ll show you the sun

You’ll always remind me

I’m not the only one

I am extraordinary

I’ve taken my time

Stumbling through till I could claim what was mine

Let my tale be cautionary

Took so long to unwind

All the tangled threads, all the stories and lies

Wasted so many years

Wondering if I was good enough
Wondering if I was strong
Proof in my body
Proof in my breathing
Proof in my song

I am extraordinary

I wish that you knew

I’ll say it again till I’m convinced that it’s true

I know I have more than many

I still need you to see

The worth of my work, so don’t you patronize me

Wasted so many years

Wondering if I was good enough
Wondering if I was strong
Proof in my body
Proof in my breathing
Proof in my song

Beauty is fading

I’m getting older

I can’t explain it

I’m still unfolding

I’m so expansive my skin can’t keep up with my body

I am aflame both with rage and delight, you can’t hold me

I am rooted and fruitful, unmuted and truthful and holy

I’m a temple, a monument be still and know me

Proof in my body

Proof in my breathing

Proof in my song

Proof in my body

Proof in my breathing

Proof in my song

I am extraordinary

It all started when…

I will never dress right for the weather

Always pick the wrong shirt or wear the wrong shoes

Perfect candidate for those midwinter blues

Every year

Always scared I’m gonna miss something better

Does a choice that I make change the end of the game?

Is forgetting my umbrella a promise it’ll rain?

I don’t know

But it’s just the way things are

I know I won’t get too far

Without taking my fear on the road

I don’t wanna leave her behind

She’s been keeping me company and telling me stories

For most of my life

I’m a magnificent beast, but a delicate one

Mix a little bit of magic with a little high strung

Oh I’m

Finding a way

To keep it all together

I’ve been biting my nails for forever

Was just a nervous kid who was afraid of the dark

Scared of dying in a fire or eaten by a shark

I don’t know

To be honest, hasn’t gotten much better
Do I trust my own gut or what other people say?

Will someone steal my data for political gain?

Probably

But it’s just the way things are

So I guess it’s probably smart

To be taking my fear on the road

I don’t wanna leave her behind

She’s been keeping me company and telling me stories

For most of my life

I’m a magnificent beast, but a delicate one

Mix a little bit of magic with a little high strung

Oh I’m

Finding a way

To keep it all together

Keep it all together….

Why’d you have to make it so hard

Why am I afraid of the dark

Dreams about me crashing my car

Why’d you have to make it so hard

So I’m taking my fear on the road

I don’t wanna leave her behind

She’s been keeping me company and telling me stories

For most of my life

I’m a magnificent beast, but a delicate one

Mix a little bit of magic with a little high strung

Oh I’m

Finding a way

To keep it all together

Keep it all together

Do you remember the time

Oh you were young, you were young

How you would open your eyes
And sing hallelujah

You’d say, “this is the day, I will rejoice”

Oh how you loved me

Do you remember the end

Oh you were young, you were young

When you were taught how to hide

And they turned you against me

How you measured in fear of being betrayed–

Oh how I miss you

I was there at the beginning,

I’ll be there at the end

Do you remember the scars?

All the control, the control

Girl, let me look at your arms
I just wanna hold you

You keep fighting with me

And I know you’re sad

I’m not gonna leave you

I was there at the beginning,

I’ll be there at the end

You keep running, but I’m running with you

Holding your hand–

Do you remember the swell

Oh, how we grew, how we grew

When you broke open the world

And learned how to hear me

Blood and water flowed down

And into the earth

Oh how I love you

And I forgive you

I was there at the beginning,

I’ll be there at the end

You keep running, but I’m running with you

Holding your hand

There you are

I was there at the beginning, I’ll be there at the end

You keep running, running over again

There you are

I was there at the beginning, I’ll be there at the end

One Sided Sea

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